Confessions of a Former Christian Turned Dark, Erotic, Romance Writer.
“When you're a new author, you have a fearsome enemy. ANONYMITY. We know this, and it's our biggest fear. The fear that nobody will read our work plagues most of us, keeping us awake at nights. No matter what some authors say, we published because we want to be read.”― Eeva Lancaster, Being Indie: A No Holds Barred, Self Publishing Guide for Indie Authors
Consider this post my I'm-almost-ready-to-release-this-damn-book personal pity party (3P). I'm sure I had one of these about two years ago when I released my first full length novel. I don't think the sentiment is the same as before, and I don't know if it matters that it's changed. The point of my 3P is to dump it all outside of myself so I'm able to complete the tedious tasks ahead of me.
My to do list is a living thing; always growing and changing, adapting to my moods swings. I don't even write it down anymore, I just plow from one task to the next and hope that eventually I'll see the button that says, "Go Live". Indicating it's time for my Facebook live book launch party! Until then, I keep my head down, my eyes open, my mouth closed, and my fingers moving. Click Image to Tweet ↓
Here's the Problem
- I have children, who at the time were all in grade school
- I'm married to a respected man in our community
- I was still a well-respected teacher in the same community
- I write extremely dark, erotic romance
- I was too chicken-shit to publish under my given name
There! The last reason makes me want to peel my skin away from my face, I'm so pissed at the me who felt that way. Really, all of them... the reasons, make me want to go back in time and kick my ass into realizing what a huge mistake it was to trade in a name I'd worked long and hard to make known in all sorts of circles, for a name no one would even think to associate with me. Silly, foolish woman.
- My Instagram following starting at 0 and now I have exactly 900 followers. This is all organic growth without the help of social media wizards for hire.
- My Twitter account started at 0 and today I have 938 followers. Again, completely organic.
- My Facebook profile has 519 friends, my author page has 192 followers, as of yesterday. Yes, you guessed it. Completely organic.
- I've been asked by several diverse companies to be their brand ambassador because they love what they see on my feed.
- I've connected with several authors who have become good associates of mine.
- I'm a part of a writing community that spans the globe.
So, it hasn't been a waste of time and in some ways, my pen name is becoming known. Yes, there is always a 🍑. But--I know my book sales would be much greater if I had the balls to publish under the name I've given to thousands of people over the years. And that's where my problem with anonymity lies. This conundrum forced me to ask the hard questions and seek the even harder answers.